1
00:00:06,055 --> 00:00:07,505
Almost ready, Dad?
2
00:00:07,556 --> 00:00:08,673
We got to get a little practice in.
3
00:00:08,724 --> 00:00:10,808
- Just lacing up.
- (Blows whistle)
4
00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:13,478
Delay of game on Dad!
5
00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:16,514
Okay, Parker,
if you want to be our ref,
6
00:00:16,565 --> 00:00:18,433
at least wait until we start playing.
7
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:20,518
(Blows whistle)
Talking back to the ref,
8
00:00:20,569 --> 00:00:21,769
technical foul!
9
00:00:26,575 --> 00:00:27,842
What are those?
10
00:00:32,748 --> 00:00:34,749
Those are shorts.
11
00:00:34,783 --> 00:00:38,786
It was a dark time in fashion
before you were born.
12
00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:41,789
These are prime-time
Pete Rooney's lucky shorts.
13
00:00:41,823 --> 00:00:43,491
He wore them when he led Ridgewood
14
00:00:43,509 --> 00:00:45,826
to the state championship,
so he's wearing them now.
15
00:00:45,844 --> 00:00:48,846
And when he talks about
himself in the third person,
16
00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:54,635
it means prime-time
Pete Rooney's fixing to win.
17
00:00:54,669 --> 00:00:56,837
Our town has a big
two-on-two tournament
18
00:00:56,855 --> 00:00:58,556
where an adult teams up with a kid
19
00:00:58,607 --> 00:01:01,509
and, uh, ha, no girl's ever won...
20
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:03,945
Till now.
21
00:01:03,979 --> 00:01:06,531
I was saying that I'm gonna
be the first girl to win.
22
00:01:06,565 --> 00:01:08,682
Was that not clear without
the "bam, what?" Yeah, okay.
23
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,568
Bam!
What?!
24
00:01:10,619 --> 00:01:11,702
Okay, Dad.
25
00:01:11,737 --> 00:01:13,521
I've seen you holding
a clipboard on the court.
26
00:01:13,539 --> 00:01:15,623
Now let's see if you can still play.
27
00:01:15,657 --> 00:01:18,709
Oh, I can still play.
28
00:01:18,744 --> 00:01:20,795
Check it.
What?
29
00:01:20,829 --> 00:01:22,497
Oh, oh no.
30
00:01:32,808 --> 00:01:35,543
Just a little rusty.
31
00:01:35,561 --> 00:01:37,728
(Blows whistle) Traveling!
32
00:01:37,763 --> 00:01:39,680
- Traveling?
- Yeah.
33
00:01:39,714 --> 00:01:41,766
Those tiny shorts are
traveling right up your butt.
34
00:01:41,817 --> 00:01:44,519
(Laughs, snorts)
35
00:01:44,553 --> 00:01:46,554
(Theme music plays)
36
00:01:46,572 --> 00:01:47,855
Better in stereo
37
00:01:47,889 --> 00:01:49,857
b... b... better in stereo
38
00:01:49,891 --> 00:01:52,493
-
I'm up with the sunshine
-
Let's go
39
00:01:52,528 --> 00:01:54,579
-
I lace up my high tops
-
Oh no
40
00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:56,497
-
slam dunk
-
Ready or not
41
00:01:56,532 --> 00:01:58,566
yeah, show me what you got
42
00:01:58,584 --> 00:02:00,585
I'm under the spotlight
Holler
43
00:02:00,619 --> 00:02:02,587
I dare you, come on and follow
44
00:02:02,621 --> 00:02:05,540
you dance to your own beat
45
00:02:05,574 --> 00:02:06,874
I'll sing the melody
46
00:02:06,908 --> 00:02:09,544
when you say yea-ah-ah
47
00:02:09,578 --> 00:02:10,744
I say no-oh-oh
48
00:02:10,762 --> 00:02:12,513
when you say stop
49
00:02:13,632 --> 00:02:16,417
all I want to do is go, go, go
50
00:02:16,435 --> 00:02:19,420
you, you, the other half of me, me
51
00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:21,606
The half I'll never be-e
52
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,725
the half that drives me crazy
53
00:02:24,759 --> 00:02:27,562
you, you,
the better half of me, me
54
00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:29,564
the half I'll always need
55
00:02:29,598 --> 00:02:31,765
but we both know
56
00:02:31,783 --> 00:02:33,901
we're better in stereo.
57
00:02:36,622 --> 00:02:38,772
Whew.
58
00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:40,658
This is tough.
59
00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:42,460
I know it may not
look like it, Bernard,
60
00:02:42,494 --> 00:02:45,613
but I am not particularly
gifted in the sports department.
61
00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:48,449
Trust me.
It looks like it.
62
00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:51,752
Oh, I am dying
63
00:02:51,786 --> 00:02:53,754
to kick that ball out from under you.
64
00:02:53,788 --> 00:02:55,923
(Gasps) But you seem
65
00:02:55,957 --> 00:02:58,559
to have gotten yourself a bodyguard.
66
00:02:59,895 --> 00:03:01,646
Parker, this is Bernard.
67
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,649
I entered a raffle at the mall
to win a personal trailer.
68
00:03:04,683 --> 00:03:07,468
Turns out it was
for a personal trainer...
69
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,488
Which I do not need.
70
00:03:10,522 --> 00:03:14,475
Joey, you need a trainer much
more than you need a trailer.
71
00:03:14,493 --> 00:03:17,695
I respectfully disagree, tree top.
72
00:03:19,498 --> 00:03:21,415
A trailer's like a bathroom on wheels.
73
00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:23,501
The possibilities are endless.
74
00:03:23,535 --> 00:03:26,621
A trainer can give you tips
on fitness and nutrition,
75
00:03:26,655 --> 00:03:29,457
but also make your Lives happier...
76
00:03:29,491 --> 00:03:30,824
And healthier.
77
00:03:30,842 --> 00:03:35,596
I'm already happy and healthy-ish.
78
00:03:35,631 --> 00:03:37,598
Joey, when I was your age,
79
00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:39,517
I hated to work out too.
80
00:03:39,551 --> 00:03:41,719
The ladies laughed
at Bernard 1.0.
81
00:03:45,557 --> 00:03:46,691
(Laughs)
82
00:03:47,842 --> 00:03:52,480
But the ladies love
Bernard 2.0 much more.
83
00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:53,731
(Kisses)
84
00:03:55,651 --> 00:03:58,686
Oh, I want the ladies to love me...
85
00:03:58,704 --> 00:04:00,705
Or at least know that I'm aLive.
86
00:04:00,739 --> 00:04:05,826
I am a pathetic lump of Clay.
87
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:07,578
Mold me.
88
00:04:07,629 --> 00:04:08,579
(Whimpers)
89
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:14,385
Oh, hey, Liv.
90
00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:16,420
Oh, sitting and reading.
91
00:04:16,471 --> 00:04:19,840
I remember when I used
to have time for that.
92
00:04:19,874 --> 00:04:22,643
Yeah, it's a play that
the drama club is doing.
93
00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:24,645
And they offered me the lead.
94
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:25,730
- (Laughs)
- Fun.
95
00:04:25,764 --> 00:04:28,549
Your first role since
sing it loud.
96
00:04:31,687 --> 00:04:34,405
Yeah, please don't ever do that again.
97
00:04:35,824 --> 00:04:37,725
It's a story about a working mother
98
00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:40,661
who struggles to juggle
her career, home, and kids.
99
00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:42,413
(Laughs, SIGHS)
100
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:43,831
I'm just really not sure
that I can pull it off.
101
00:04:43,865 --> 00:04:47,585
I have that same thought
every day of my life.
102
00:04:47,619 --> 00:04:50,838
But, like, do we really want
to play a character who is
103
00:04:50,872 --> 00:04:54,592
so overworked and haggard
104
00:04:54,626 --> 00:04:57,795
that she can barely make it
through her day?
105
00:04:57,846 --> 00:05:00,848
- Wow, that does sound terrible.
- Yeah.
106
00:05:00,882 --> 00:05:02,717
Well, is there another
character in the play
107
00:05:02,751 --> 00:05:04,468
who's single and doesn't have kids?
108
00:05:04,519 --> 00:05:06,587
- Actually, her sister.
- Play her.
109
00:05:09,558 --> 00:05:10,758
Hey, madds.
110
00:05:10,776 --> 00:05:12,593
Rehearsal any better with Dad today?
111
00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:15,429
Okay, one, it's called practice.
112
00:05:15,447 --> 00:05:18,699
Two, rehearsal was a disaster.
113
00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:21,619
He's running slower.
He's shooting worse.
114
00:05:21,653 --> 00:05:24,438
And somehow his shorts
got even shorter.
115
00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:27,441
Does this mean that
you aren't gonna be
116
00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:29,777
the first girl to win
the pageant... tournament?
117
00:05:29,795 --> 00:05:31,746
I knew it was wrong
the second I said it.
118
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:35,616
Well, I'm certainly not
gonna win with Dad on my team.
119
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:36,834
What do I do?
120
00:05:36,885 --> 00:05:39,420
Okay.
Here is an exercise
121
00:05:39,454 --> 00:05:40,504
that I've done in the past.
122
00:05:40,555 --> 00:05:42,623
Close your eyes and let's visualize
123
00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:46,477
the best possible
solution to your problem.
124
00:05:58,657 --> 00:06:00,658
Whoa.
125
00:06:02,644 --> 00:06:04,478
Oh, yeah.
126
00:06:04,496 --> 00:06:05,613
Liv, Maddie,
127
00:06:05,647 --> 00:06:07,531
this is Bernard, my personal trainer.
128
00:06:07,582 --> 00:06:09,533
He's gonna get me all jacked!
129
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:14,588
Which he says means muscular.
130
00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:15,673
Nice to meet you.
131
00:06:15,707 --> 00:06:17,508
Um, where is the trash?
132
00:06:21,713 --> 00:06:22,830
- Whoo!
- Ugh!
133
00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:25,633
(Both grunting)
134
00:06:25,667 --> 00:06:27,384
Nice shot.
135
00:06:27,436 --> 00:06:29,687
Thank you. I played a little
college ball back in the day.
136
00:06:30,772 --> 00:06:34,558
But come on, Joey.
The gym is that way.
137
00:06:36,528 --> 00:06:39,613
I got to get you ripped.
138
00:06:40,899 --> 00:06:43,517
"Ripped," that also means muscular.
139
00:06:44,653 --> 00:06:47,455
Okay, the visualization thing
140
00:06:47,489 --> 00:06:49,623
has never worked that well before.
141
00:06:49,658 --> 00:06:53,461
So that was the universe
telling me to dump Dad, right?
142
00:06:53,495 --> 00:06:55,880
The universe is screaming
at you to dump Dad.
143
00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:57,581
Let's ride this wave.
144
00:06:57,632 --> 00:06:59,750
Okay, now close your eyes with me
145
00:06:59,801 --> 00:07:03,704
and let's visualize Ryan gosling.
146
00:07:07,476 --> 00:07:09,593
- Hey, teammate.
- Hey, coach.
147
00:07:09,644 --> 00:07:11,428
I need to talk to you
about the tournament.
148
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,397
Great. I've been
working on my jumper,
149
00:07:13,431 --> 00:07:14,482
getting my rhythm back.
150
00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:17,551
What? Oh.
151
00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:19,737
Yeah, so, Dad, um...
152
00:07:19,771 --> 00:07:22,740
You and I have had some
really great times together.
153
00:07:22,774 --> 00:07:24,441
Um...
154
00:07:24,493 --> 00:07:27,495
I just don't think that
it's gonna work out.
155
00:07:27,529 --> 00:07:29,580
What are you saying?
156
00:07:29,614 --> 00:07:32,533
I'm breaking up with you.
157
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,585
What?
158
00:07:34,619 --> 00:07:37,538
Why? What did I do?
I can change.
159
00:07:37,572 --> 00:07:39,790
I can be better.
160
00:07:39,841 --> 00:07:42,543
See, it's not you, it's me.
161
00:07:42,577 --> 00:07:45,513
But I'm your Dad.
162
00:07:45,547 --> 00:07:48,599
Right, and I will always have a...
163
00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:51,468
Special place in my heart for you,
164
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,888
but it's just time that I move on.
165
00:07:53,922 --> 00:07:57,474
I think in the long run, this is
gonna be better for both of us.
166
00:07:57,526 --> 00:08:01,562
Wow. Wow.
I can't believe this.
167
00:08:01,596 --> 00:08:05,649
I thought we were
good together, you and me.
168
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:08,736
(Laughs) This is awkward.
169
00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:10,437
Dad, there's someone else.
170
00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:11,438
(Gasps)
171
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:16,627
Are you okay?
172
00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:19,463
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm fine, you know.
173
00:08:19,497 --> 00:08:21,615
Just a little surprised,
but it's cool, you know.
174
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:25,803
You do you.
I'll do me.
175
00:08:25,837 --> 00:08:28,722
Maybe I'll just get
a ride home with mom.
176
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:30,391
I think that would be best.
177
00:08:34,283 --> 00:08:36,017
Thank you so much
178
00:08:36,051 --> 00:08:37,101
for agreeing to be
on my team, Bernard.
179
00:08:37,152 --> 00:08:40,021
Sure thing, teammate.
I'm so excited.
180
00:08:40,055 --> 00:08:41,072
Now, hit me up top.
181
00:08:45,393 --> 00:08:47,328
How about I hit you up the middle?
182
00:08:47,362 --> 00:08:48,996
Okay.
183
00:08:49,031 --> 00:08:50,197
Boo.
184
00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:53,117
Now, let's win this tournament.
Bam! What?!
185
00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:55,453
(Laughs)
186
00:08:55,504 --> 00:08:57,421
I like that.
Can I give it a try?
187
00:08:57,456 --> 00:08:59,290
I mean, you know,
it's kind of my thing,
188
00:08:59,341 --> 00:09:00,341
but try it.
189
00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:03,344
Okay.
190
00:09:03,378 --> 00:09:05,946
Bam! What?!
191
00:09:05,981 --> 00:09:07,965
(Exclaims)
192
00:09:08,016 --> 00:09:12,086
You, my good sir,
are a natural bam-what-er.
193
00:09:12,104 --> 00:09:14,604
- Let's do this, come on.
- (Clears throat)
194
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:16,357
Oh.
195
00:09:16,391 --> 00:09:19,060
Okay.
196
00:09:19,094 --> 00:09:21,028
- Just got to get a little...
- (Basketball clunks)
197
00:09:21,063 --> 00:09:22,980
Just got to get a little
warmed up, right, Bernie?
198
00:09:24,366 --> 00:09:26,033
(Stutters)
199
00:09:27,202 --> 00:09:29,987
I... I think you... uh...
200
00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:32,373
It's more of like a...
like... like one hand.
201
00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:36,210
(Cheers)
202
00:09:36,244 --> 00:09:38,162
Yes!
203
00:09:38,213 --> 00:09:40,381
I hit the backboard.
204
00:09:40,415 --> 00:09:43,417
I am on fire.
205
00:09:45,387 --> 00:09:47,421
(SIGHS) Uh, Bernard?
206
00:09:47,455 --> 00:09:48,973
- Mm-hmm?
- (Laughs)
207
00:09:49,007 --> 00:09:51,342
Thought you said
you played in college.
208
00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:53,060
I did...
209
00:09:53,095 --> 00:09:56,180
In the national trash can
basketball association.
210
00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:01,468
We used to roll around
on office chairs
211
00:10:01,486 --> 00:10:04,105
and shoot up wadded-up paper.
Whoo.
212
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,277
Uh, trash can basketball?
213
00:10:10,311 --> 00:10:12,146
- Yeah, trash can basketball.
- Oh.
214
00:10:12,164 --> 00:10:14,148
I won defensive player of the year
215
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,150
three years in a row.
216
00:10:17,202 --> 00:10:19,120
Yes, okay?
217
00:10:19,154 --> 00:10:21,088
I judged a book by its cover.
218
00:10:21,123 --> 00:10:22,322
But come on!
219
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:24,158
It was
a seven-foot book!
220
00:10:27,095 --> 00:10:28,295
Hey, mom.
221
00:10:28,329 --> 00:10:29,346
I'm so glad you're here.
222
00:10:29,381 --> 00:10:31,498
So I've been thinking about this role
223
00:10:31,516 --> 00:10:33,333
and I think I had it all wrong.
224
00:10:33,351 --> 00:10:36,353
She's not a haggard,
broken-down housewife.
225
00:10:36,388 --> 00:10:37,504
She's a super-mom
226
00:10:37,522 --> 00:10:39,223
who gets it all done
and looks great doing it.
227
00:10:40,508 --> 00:10:43,027
So to prepare for that role,
228
00:10:43,061 --> 00:10:45,345
I think I know the perfect
person to talk to.
229
00:10:45,363 --> 00:10:48,482
(Chuckles)
That is... that is so sweet.
230
00:10:48,516 --> 00:10:51,152
Mrs. reifschneider,
my German teacher.
231
00:10:54,355 --> 00:10:56,356
The one with
the Live-in housekeeper?
232
00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,327
Yeah. Yeah! Yeah!
233
00:11:00,361 --> 00:11:03,464
Ask her.
Ask her.
234
00:11:07,135 --> 00:11:10,304
Liv, I have a huge problem.
235
00:11:10,338 --> 00:11:12,039
Uh, I'm listening.
236
00:11:12,057 --> 00:11:14,091
Okay, it's just the thing
with Bernard is...
237
00:11:14,142 --> 00:11:15,209
uh, hold on.
Hold on.
238
00:11:15,227 --> 00:11:16,260
Mom!
239
00:11:16,311 --> 00:11:18,012
Huh?
240
00:11:18,046 --> 00:11:19,379
Do you mind?
241
00:11:19,397 --> 00:11:22,099
(In a deep voice) More than you know.
242
00:11:23,384 --> 00:11:26,103
- Go on.
- Okay, I just...
243
00:11:26,154 --> 00:11:27,321
I thought Bernard
would be a better teammate,
244
00:11:27,355 --> 00:11:28,388
but he's terrible.
245
00:11:28,406 --> 00:11:29,440
Worse than Dad?
246
00:11:29,491 --> 00:11:31,242
Way worse than Dad.
247
00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:32,359
Are his shorts as bad?
248
00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:35,395
No shorts are that bad.
249
00:11:35,413 --> 00:11:37,114
(Mouths)
250
00:11:37,165 --> 00:11:38,249
But the point is I'm not gonna
251
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:39,366
win the tournament with Bernard.
252
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,118
So I need to figure out
a way to ditch him
253
00:11:41,169 --> 00:11:42,236
and get Dad back.
254
00:11:42,254 --> 00:11:44,205
Why would you want Dad back?
255
00:11:44,239 --> 00:11:46,340
Because it's too late
to get anyone else...
256
00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:52,379
And because he's my father
and I love him.
257
00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:54,048
(SIGHS)
258
00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:55,216
What am I gonna do?
259
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,251
Oh, I think you know.
260
00:11:57,269 --> 00:11:59,103
Close your eyes and let's visualize
261
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:02,189
the best possible solution
to your problem.
262
00:12:02,224 --> 00:12:04,975
(Breathes deeply)
263
00:12:10,198 --> 00:12:12,266
Check it out.
I'm a fruit viking.
264
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:15,102
(Screams)
265
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:25,445
All right, Bernard.
266
00:12:25,463 --> 00:12:27,998
Now, I have set
a fitness goal for myself
267
00:12:28,049 --> 00:12:31,168
based on completely
reasonable expectations.
268
00:12:31,219 --> 00:12:36,456
I want you to make me into Joey 2.5.
269
00:12:40,228 --> 00:12:42,479
Uh, ah?
Nice, huh?
270
00:12:42,514 --> 00:12:44,464
I even have shoulders
bigger than yours.
271
00:12:44,482 --> 00:12:49,236
Nobody has shoulders bigger than me.
272
00:12:50,471 --> 00:12:53,240
The only shoulder in the world
bigger than this one
273
00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:55,276
is this one.
274
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:58,279
Sorry, but it's true.
275
00:12:58,313 --> 00:13:01,165
Okay, so what's the plan for today?
276
00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:03,083
All right, Joey, I want to determine
277
00:13:03,118 --> 00:13:04,118
- your target heart rate.
- (Beeping)
278
00:13:04,152 --> 00:13:06,036
We're gonna do some squats,
279
00:13:06,087 --> 00:13:08,005
- some crunches,
- (Beeps faster)
280
00:13:08,039 --> 00:13:10,991
- Then we're gonna jog a couple miles.
- (Rapid beeping)
281
00:13:11,009 --> 00:13:13,043
Ooh. (Panting)
282
00:13:13,094 --> 00:13:15,129
What is that noise?
283
00:13:15,163 --> 00:13:17,331
Somehow, you've exceeded
your target heart rate
284
00:13:17,349 --> 00:13:22,002
by just listening to me
talk about exercise.
285
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:24,438
So, we're done for the day.
286
00:13:24,472 --> 00:13:26,006
Whew, ha.
287
00:13:26,024 --> 00:13:27,224
Whoo.
288
00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:31,228
Joey, we haven't even started yet.
289
00:13:31,279 --> 00:13:33,347
Now, get ready to sweat!
290
00:13:36,117 --> 00:13:38,018
Whoo!
(Laughs)
291
00:13:38,036 --> 00:13:40,321
This is fun.
292
00:13:40,355 --> 00:13:42,206
Plus, it's great cardio
293
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,191
and it's easy on the joints.
294
00:13:44,209 --> 00:13:45,492
Oh, easy,
295
00:13:45,526 --> 00:13:48,045
that is the word
I've been looking for.
296
00:13:49,364 --> 00:13:51,332
You can totally blast your quads
297
00:13:51,366 --> 00:13:53,467
and get a great core workout
298
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:56,036
by just hopping
from side-to-side.
299
00:13:56,054 --> 00:13:57,421
(Laughs) Nah, man.
300
00:13:57,472 --> 00:14:00,341
I'm good just boinging in place.
301
00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:03,377
Joey 2.5
doesn't boing in place!
302
00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:06,146
No! Hey!
We're done.
303
00:14:06,181 --> 00:14:07,181
We're done.
You've made your point.
304
00:14:07,215 --> 00:14:09,316
- We're done.
- May I?
305
00:14:09,351 --> 00:14:11,318
Please do.
306
00:14:11,353 --> 00:14:13,320
(High-pitched scream)
No! Somebody!
307
00:14:13,355 --> 00:14:15,389
Okay, we're done.
(Mimics laugh)
308
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,196
Hey, Dad.
Can we talk?
309
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:24,248
Sure.
310
00:14:24,282 --> 00:14:27,084
Since it went so well
the last time we did.
311
00:14:27,118 --> 00:14:31,405
Look, I made a mistake.
312
00:14:31,423 --> 00:14:34,458
I think I finally realized
that the whole point
313
00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:38,462
was for us to win
this tournament together.
314
00:14:38,513 --> 00:14:41,415
You're right.
That was the whole point.
315
00:14:43,134 --> 00:14:45,352
Well, back to practice.
316
00:14:45,387 --> 00:14:48,055
Really?
I'm gonna go get changed.
317
00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:50,190
Oh, no, no, no.
318
00:14:50,225 --> 00:14:51,275
Not with you...
319
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:54,111
With my new teammate.
320
00:14:57,482 --> 00:15:01,068
Your new what-mate?
321
00:15:01,102 --> 00:15:02,453
(Basketball bounces) Diggy?
322
00:15:05,156 --> 00:15:06,323
'Sup, Rooney?
323
00:15:06,374 --> 00:15:08,959
Oh, oh, oh.
324
00:15:08,994 --> 00:15:11,996
Both: Ohh!
325
00:15:12,047 --> 00:15:14,331
Told you prime-time Pete Rooney
would find his rhythm.
326
00:15:14,382 --> 00:15:17,217
Ring the alarm bells 'cause I'm on...
327
00:15:17,252 --> 00:15:21,171
Fire.
328
00:15:21,222 --> 00:15:23,290
Wait, but I'm your daughter.
329
00:15:23,324 --> 00:15:25,142
How could you do this to me?
330
00:15:25,176 --> 00:15:27,978
Because Diggy knows
not to stab me in the back.
331
00:15:28,013 --> 00:15:30,431
Plus, he's a great player
with a solid jumper
332
00:15:30,465 --> 00:15:34,068
and impeccable fashion sense.
333
00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:35,352
(Gasps)
334
00:15:41,026 --> 00:15:43,410
(Hoarsely) If you were trying to
psych-out your competition,
335
00:15:43,445 --> 00:15:45,079
mission accomplished.
336
00:15:45,113 --> 00:15:47,481
Ohh!
337
00:15:47,499 --> 00:15:50,000
(Continues exclaiming indistinctly)
338
00:15:50,035 --> 00:15:51,285
(Both cheering)
339
00:15:55,498 --> 00:15:57,549
(Clears throat loudly)
340
00:15:59,285 --> 00:16:01,286
'Sup, Diggy?
341
00:16:01,304 --> 00:16:04,256
Okay, before you say anything,
342
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,391
I'm sorry that
I teamed up with your Dad...
343
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,428
And that you had to see me
in those shorts.
344
00:16:09,462 --> 00:16:12,130
(Snorts)
345
00:16:12,148 --> 00:16:14,266
Relax, Diggy.
I'm not upset with you.
346
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,101
You're not?
347
00:16:16,135 --> 00:16:18,403
Wow, that's really cool of you.
348
00:16:18,438 --> 00:16:20,472
You are being really cool, right?
349
00:16:22,492 --> 00:16:25,243
- Way cool.
- Okay.
350
00:16:25,278 --> 00:16:28,363
(SIGHS) It's just...
It's too bad though.
351
00:16:28,414 --> 00:16:30,482
Whoa, wait.
What's too bad?
352
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,317
Oh, you know, it's just
353
00:16:32,352 --> 00:16:35,320
we're on different teams now
and so we're enemies.
354
00:16:35,338 --> 00:16:37,506
And I've sworn to crush
all my enemies!
355
00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:41,293
Are you saying that I can't play
356
00:16:41,327 --> 00:16:42,344
in the tournament with your Dad?
357
00:16:42,378 --> 00:16:45,497
(Laughs) I would never
tell you what to do.
358
00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:47,382
- Okay.
- Hey, uh...
359
00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:49,468
Do you remember that one time
that we went ice skating
360
00:16:49,502 --> 00:16:50,502
and I got cold?
361
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,220
Of course.
362
00:16:52,271 --> 00:16:54,389
It was the first time
we ever hung out together.
363
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,526
- You were so cute.
- Yeah, here's the scarf that you loaned me.
364
00:17:00,563 --> 00:17:02,347
Okay, all right.
365
00:17:02,365 --> 00:17:03,482
I'm really getting
the feeling you're saying
366
00:17:03,516 --> 00:17:05,117
not to play in that tournament.
367
00:17:05,151 --> 00:17:08,320
Pfft. (Laughs)
I'm not saying anything.
368
00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:09,404
Here's a collection
of every single note
369
00:17:09,455 --> 00:17:10,405
that you've ever left in my locker.
370
00:17:10,456 --> 00:17:12,240
Okay, okay.
371
00:17:13,409 --> 00:17:15,293
I get it.
I will, uh...
372
00:17:15,328 --> 00:17:16,528
I'll find a way
to get off your Dad's team.
373
00:17:16,546 --> 00:17:22,467
I mean... If that's
what you really want.
374
00:17:29,225 --> 00:17:31,426
And I really want to play, coach "r,"
375
00:17:31,477 --> 00:17:33,562
but, ugh, my arm just hurts so bad.
376
00:17:33,596 --> 00:17:36,565
Cut down in my prime!
377
00:17:36,599 --> 00:17:40,218
It's a tough blow to team
short-shorts, isn't it, Dad?
378
00:17:40,236 --> 00:17:42,404
It sure is.
379
00:17:42,438 --> 00:17:45,157
Let me ask you one question,
Mr. smalls.
380
00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:47,559
Would Maddie, by any chance,
be pressuring you...
381
00:17:47,577 --> 00:17:51,530
I don't know... to... Fake this?
382
00:17:51,564 --> 00:17:53,198
Ha ha!
383
00:17:53,232 --> 00:17:55,500
That girl's no good for you, son.
384
00:17:55,535 --> 00:17:58,236
What... Dad, you don't
even like Diggy.
385
00:17:58,254 --> 00:18:00,238
That's not true.
He's a fine young man.
386
00:18:00,256 --> 00:18:02,574
- Really, sir?
- Stay out of it, Diggy.
387
00:18:02,592 --> 00:18:05,377
- You leave Diggy alone.
- No, I'm the basketball coach.
388
00:18:05,411 --> 00:18:08,513
- (Indistinct arguing)
- You two, knock it off!
389
00:18:08,548 --> 00:18:11,550
- Ow, ow, ow.
- Okay, mom!
390
00:18:11,584 --> 00:18:13,468
Now, I don't know
who started this war,
391
00:18:13,519 --> 00:18:16,354
but I'm ending it.
Get in the kitchen.
392
00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,140
Now.
393
00:18:18,191 --> 00:18:19,441
Now!
394
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,277
(Blows)
395
00:18:26,265 --> 00:18:27,566
Awesome! Yeah!
396
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,203
I really want you to dig in
on this last session.
397
00:18:31,237 --> 00:18:33,238
I feel like I've made
a lot of progress.
398
00:18:33,272 --> 00:18:35,407
Progress?
399
00:18:35,441 --> 00:18:36,408
Sure.
400
00:18:36,442 --> 00:18:38,326
(Both snicker)
401
00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:39,578
(Laughing)
402
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:43,165
(Laughs) Progress.
403
00:18:43,216 --> 00:18:45,283
(Laughs) He said progress.
404
00:18:45,301 --> 00:18:47,219
Okeydokey.
405
00:18:47,253 --> 00:18:50,121
Let's do this, bernasty.
(Laughs)
406
00:18:50,139 --> 00:18:52,424
Bern-who?
407
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:56,178
Berna... you are not
ready for nicknames.
408
00:18:56,229 --> 00:18:58,480
- Not from you.
- Good one, tree top.
409
00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:00,565
Thanks, p-train.
410
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,435
All right, Joseph.
This is simple.
411
00:19:03,469 --> 00:19:05,520
All you have to do is run to me
412
00:19:05,571 --> 00:19:08,156
while fighting those resistance bands.
413
00:19:08,191 --> 00:19:10,158
Oh, piece of cake.
414
00:19:10,193 --> 00:19:13,528
Everything is not a dessert.
415
00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:19,417
Run to me as though
the walls are chasing you!
416
00:19:19,452 --> 00:19:22,370
Ooh, can I imagine a zombie?
417
00:19:22,421 --> 00:19:25,123
If you must.
418
00:19:26,509 --> 00:19:29,177
Come on, Joey.
Dig, Joey!
419
00:19:29,212 --> 00:19:30,462
All you have to do is touch my hand
420
00:19:30,496 --> 00:19:33,164
and you'll be Joey 2.5.
421
00:19:33,182 --> 00:19:35,350
(Grunts)
422
00:19:35,384 --> 00:19:39,170
(Grunts)
Gaah! Ha ha!
423
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:43,108
Whoo!
No one can stop me now!
424
00:19:43,142 --> 00:19:45,477
- (Laughs)
- Buh-bye.
425
00:19:45,511 --> 00:19:47,512
- (Screams)
- Both: Ooh.
426
00:19:50,349 --> 00:19:52,150
Hey, do you do birthday parties?
427
00:19:52,184 --> 00:19:54,202
My pals will really enjoy you.
428
00:19:54,237 --> 00:19:57,155
Any time, p-train.
Up top.
429
00:19:57,189 --> 00:19:59,241
(Grunts)
430
00:19:59,292 --> 00:20:00,458
(Joey pants)
431
00:20:00,493 --> 00:20:02,294
Uh, guys.
432
00:20:02,328 --> 00:20:05,163
Dudes?
433
00:20:05,197 --> 00:20:07,332
A little help over here, tree top?
434
00:20:07,366 --> 00:20:10,135
(Nervous laughter)
P-train?
435
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:11,336
Help me, bernasty!
436
00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:13,338
(Grunts)
437
00:20:16,259 --> 00:20:18,143
You two are so stubborn.
438
00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:20,478
Can we at least agree there are
more important things than winning?
439
00:20:20,513 --> 00:20:23,231
(Both gasp)
440
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:25,433
You two have been playing
basketball together
441
00:20:25,484 --> 00:20:26,568
since Maddie was five.
442
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,153
And now you're gonna let this
443
00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,155
wonderful thing you share
tear you apart?
444
00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:32,274
- She started it.
- He started it.
445
00:20:32,325 --> 00:20:35,193
I swear, it's like you two
are the same person.
446
00:20:35,227 --> 00:20:37,329
(Both gasp)
447
00:20:37,363 --> 00:20:38,413
I know, shocking.
448
00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:39,447
Now figure it out.
449
00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:44,336
It is possible
450
00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:47,205
that there are things more
important in life than winning?
451
00:20:47,239 --> 00:20:51,209
Doesn't seem right, does it?
452
00:20:51,243 --> 00:20:53,595
I'm sorry I dumped you, Dad.
453
00:20:53,629 --> 00:20:56,548
I'm sorry I dumped you back.
454
00:20:58,417 --> 00:21:00,585
Are we supposed
to hug now or something?
455
00:21:00,603 --> 00:21:02,253
I'd rather go play basketball.
456
00:21:02,271 --> 00:21:04,255
- Let's play basketball.
- Yeah.
457
00:21:05,424 --> 00:21:07,475
Hey, listen, Diggy.
458
00:21:07,526 --> 00:21:11,262
Um, Maddie and I got back together.
459
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,365
Beat it.
460
00:21:13,399 --> 00:21:15,450
That actually makes this less awkward.
461
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:17,485
I'm teaming up with the big man.
462
00:21:17,536 --> 00:21:22,607
And if anyone's confused,
I'm the big man.
463
00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:26,378
(Laughs) Just a warning, Diggy.
464
00:21:26,412 --> 00:21:28,580
That big man is a big mistake.
465
00:21:28,614 --> 00:21:30,131
Yeah, about that.
466
00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:32,500
Bernard is a lot better
with his goggles.
467
00:21:39,258 --> 00:21:41,593
Whoo!
468
00:21:41,627 --> 00:21:43,511
Oh!
Oh!
469
00:21:43,562 --> 00:21:45,230
Ooh!
Oh!
470
00:21:45,264 --> 00:21:48,433
Bam!
What?!
471
00:21:48,467 --> 00:21:50,352
Whoo!
472
00:21:50,403 --> 00:21:54,472
I'm so much better when
I can actually see the hoop.
473
00:21:54,964 --> 00:21:59,773
Good luck in the tournament, losers.
474
00:22:01,775 --> 00:22:04,008
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
475
00:22:04,042 --> 00:22:05,574
Stop.
476
00:22:14,651 --> 00:22:15,918
Honey, I know it was hard to lose
477
00:22:15,953 --> 00:22:17,853
The championship game
to Diggy and Bernard,
478
00:22:17,888 --> 00:22:19,055
But the tournament's over.
479
00:22:19,090 --> 00:22:20,692
You need to give it up, Pete.
480
00:22:20,726 --> 00:22:21,928
But we can win next year.
481
00:22:21,962 --> 00:22:23,063
No, no.
I meant your daisy dukes...
482
00:22:25,068 --> 00:22:28,770
'cause no one wins
when you wear those.
483
00:22:28,804 --> 00:22:31,973
Hey, prime-time Pete Rooney's
been practicing a lot.
484
00:22:32,007 --> 00:22:33,741
He's got his groove back.
485
00:22:33,776 --> 00:22:35,676
He'd like you to check this out.
486
00:22:37,881 --> 00:22:38,849
Oh-ho!
487
00:22:38,883 --> 00:22:41,717
In your face, old man!
488
00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:43,051
(Giggles)
489
00:22:43,101 --> 00:22:47,651
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